Miss my Mommy Lola

Miss the times that she will hug me when I came home...
Miss the times that she will treat me like a baby...
Miss the times that she will call me as the baby princess of the family...
Miss the times that she will ask me if there is someone’s courting me...
Miss all her advices...

Miss my Mommy Lola…

I thought it was just because of her heart problem but I was wrong, they lied to me...
They made me believe the wrong things...

It was September 19, 2009 when I decided to went home [in Tanjay to have my allowance to get some of my clothes.]

When I was already in tanjay I was shock when phone rang... [Tumawag ang mama kow]...

“ga, asa ka?! Pauli sa kay imo mommy lola nangita nimo,dali” [these were the words I remembered when I answered the call of my mom…] that is why I decided to go first to my grandparents house.

As I reached to my grandparent’s house my mom immediately hugs me and I asked her right away “Ma, asa si lolo?na unsa diay?” and my mom answered me with “naa sa iyahang room. Please ga ayaw rah kaguol kaayo kay kaw napod niya amo tabangun and wala diri imong tambal huh..”

Before I open the door of my Mommy Lola’s room I heard someone crying that is why I decided to peep first then I saw my Dad hugging my mommy lola while he was crying.

I really did not notice that a tear drops from my eyes and it was not my intention but my dad saw me and he immediately call me and hug me then he told me that my mommy lola was looking for me then he kiss me in my forehead and told me that “ayaw ra kaguol huh” then he went out.

“My, musta naman?” the only phrase came out to my mouth then my lola stared at me then to my surprise she hugged me and asked me “ga, musta imo eskwela”. My tear slowly fall [cause accordinhg to my mom my mommy lola do not want to talk and she cannot even remember the names of my tita].

I just answered her with “La paayo na! diba ni promise ka nako nga dili ko nimo byaan”.

She did not reply but instead a teardrops in her eyes and she told me that “pag binot an jud huh,imo pag ka maldita ayaw palabihi huh,naa ra btaw ko sige” and that is the timhe I hug her tight.

Since then I did not left my lola alone. I always hold her hand and I keep on telling her everything happened on my week.

It was 7:48 when I told her that I will go out first to have a my shower (before I went to bed) and as I reached the Bath Room I heard my tita screaming and keeps on calling the name of my mommy lola that is why I went out to the bath room and I rushed to the room of my mommy lola but in my dismayed my mom hug me while she was crying and told me “Wala na imo lola”.

I immediately hug my mommy lola and check her pulse rate and heart beat but my tita was right my lola already passed away.

I hugged my mommy lola tight while crying and I do not want her to leave that is why my dad and my mom decided to bring me home.

Though my mommy lola is not here but I know she will keep on watching me and she will guide my way.

I know it’s hard to accept that she’s not with us and will never come back but at least I know that she’s happy wherever she is right now.

kosa ba yo tiene?!

kosa ba yo tiene?

ese el permi yo ta pyensa..

porke iyo ya lang permi sila ta mira?!

Kosa-kosa sila ta abla komigo...

kosa sila ta pensa hindi yo ta entende kosa sila ta abla?!

Se, ta entendi yo si kosa sila ta abla malo komigo..

porke iyo yalang permi?!

kosa ba yo ya anda ase kanila?!

hai, Bien sabe yo sila el ase kumigo bueno...

pero kosa sila ta ase ara?!

permi yah lang sila kumigo ta ase huya...

hindi porke ansena yo pwede ya sila ase ansena kumigo..


hente tamen yo tiene sentiemento..

Kosa ba tiene sila na nuay yo?!

porke dol basta-basta lang sila ta piensa kumigo...

kilaya se sila el taki na di me lugar?!

kosa kaha sila senti?!

kosa kaha sila piensa?!

Sus, kon pwede lang yo abla kanila todo se kosa yo ta senti pero malisod abla kanila...

pati gual lang syempre se abla yo hindi lang syempre sila kida otro...

se abla yo kanila dol nuay lang...

se, pede sila despensa pero dol minuto lang amo lang syempre...

...hahaii...

...kansaw yah yo...

...kosa ba yo ase?!

waiting for nothing

I used to wake up early in the morning because of his text messages

He used to send me a morning greetings such as “Gud morning to my lovely angel., wake up nah., yaw adto skul without taking ur breakfast huh., muah …” etc…

But last Sunday, as I woke up I immediately reach for my cell phone to read his message but as I scroll my key pad I was dismayed [ndi dahil wala akong na received na message] when I found out that he did not text me at all…

I waited for his text for almost an hour but still he did not dare to text me or even just greet me good morning…

That is why I decided to text him with “gud morning” cause I was thinking that maybe
He was still sleeping…

I waited for his reply almost 2hours but what he replied is just a simple “Gud morning, wish me luck because I will take the PMA exam”…

He will take the exam without telling me…

I was disappointed on what he just replied to me but still I manage to text him with “uwkie,gud luck! ajA!... just text me if ur done”…

Time passed and it’s already 7pm but still I am waiting for his text…

10pm already passed but still he did not text me…

I know that very moment that he won’t text me anymore…

That is why I decided to sleep…

It was Monday morning when I hear my phone beep and guess what…

The good guy texted me… [awh,lami hapakon]

“Gud morning! Eat na, muah”

And that’s the time I decide not to text him back for I know he will just give me his alibis..

He texted me several times but still I did not text him back…

I want him to feel what the feeling I felt last time…

The feeling that you are waiting for nothing…