Emo Princess

Alay kay Itay

2011-06-17T21:22:00.000-07:00

When I was in kinder you were the ones who fetch me after my class and I can’t forget the first time you scolded me when we were on our way home since my teacher told you that I punch my classmate during the recess time. I was so mad at you then to the point that I did not go out to my room for dinner and throw all my pillows then you knocked in my room telling me that I should prepare because we will be having our dinner at Jollibee so, what I felt easily vanished because of it (silly girl!). After our dinner Mama talked to me and let me promised that I won’t do it again and so I did (since Mama told me that you are so disappointed because on what I did). When I was in elementary and until in my high school you were still the one who fetch me even though I told you that I can manage to go home by myself. Ever since I was young you always makes me feel that I am special and that I can always do it but I never heard you complimenting me for a job well done may it on my studies or on my sport but instead you’ll be telling me that the compliments that I am having won’t matter but it’s a matter of how you do it in achieving what you have. I used to cry every time you reprimand me on the things that I am doing and the things I wanted to have, but every time you see me crying you will immediately approached me and tell me that you will treat me and Mom to Jollibee or often you will give Mom the money so I would have what I wanted to buy. I used to think that you didn’t appreciate what I am doing but to my surprise during my commencement day you hugged me tight and told me how proud you are and thankful having me as your daughter and I really appreciate it pa. Ever since before you really made me feel that I am a princess that can have all I wanted. Your word became the rules that I have to follow but later on you will let me decide on my own and tell me that you and Mama will be always there to support me. Ever since before I am a confessed Papa’s girl--- Where ever you are they will also find me there 
Papa, you are the ones who taught me the real things about life. You are the ones who taught me on becoming strong (since according to you crying won’t help me solve my problem). In my 19 years of existence, you became my mentor, my adviser and My Best Buddy (especially in sports), a good friend and My Dad. Happy Fathers Day Papa! I Love You so much <3 <3 <3

I Hate You!

2010-08-17T21:54:00.000-07:00

Since that very first day I knew that I was into you, I can’t exactly count using my bare hands the times that I looked stupid, the times I hated myself, the times I cried and the times I was hurt by you.

Long time ago, I used to tell to everyone that crying for someone (specifically the opposite sex) would be the least thing I would do, but look at me now, here I am alone in a corner trying to ease the pain that you’ve cause simply by letting my tears run down my face . And certainly I really hated this idea—but this scenario will surely won’t be happening at this very moment if you didn’t draw closer to my path, thus, I hated you more than anyone else.

I hated you for letting me feel that I am special to you. I hated you for letting me feel that there’s something going on between the two of us, but most of all I really hate you for letting me fall for you without any assurance that you feel the same way too and giving me those false hope of yours.

Now, look at me everyone can surely call me “assuming” because of what you’ve done. But could I ever blame myself for assuming that there’s love between the two of us because of your actions and you’re “I LOVE YOUs”? Could I blame myself for hoping that someday there will be the two of us because of what you made me feel? Now, tell me could I blame myself for that?

Many times I tried to fight what I felt for you since I myself is tired of what I was doing to myself just to understand you—just to please you but since every time I make a move just to get rid of you, you yourself is also making a move to hinder me such as when I almost made it—I almost forget you then here you are again begging me to stay and claiming that I am only the one that you need. Crazy I am to think that what you’ve told me was all real. And I was also crazy and madly in-love with you then, thus I came back again to you hoping that this time around could be for real but my decision of coming back was totally erroneous because instead of being happy, I just let myself be hurt again.

Now, I know, I should have listen to my friends that you’re no good to me. I should have listened to them—I should have followed what they told me and If only I could turn back time—if only I could.

But it’s not yet late—I could still correct the mistakes that I have done and I assure you this time around there’s no turning back. This time around you can’t hold me back to you and let myself be hurt again because this time around—I know I will be happy and I know my friends just wanted the best for me and absolutely my friends don’t see you as a one.

So this time around, my goodbye is for real. I hate this but I need to. Yes, I really did love and fight for you but now I am running out of reason to fight for what I felt before since right now it’s not all about love—but it’s all about the hatred that I am strongly feel towards you right now.

Useless

2010-03-08T12:37:00.000-08:00

“When you really love someone you must not expect any return of your actions and doings”
But what if you’re doing too much and anything for the person that you loved but then that person really cannot appreciate what you are doing, will you still stick with this saying?
I did not expect that I would also experience what did my friends experienced before.
Doing extra effort just to make the one they loved happy. Well, before, I used to laugh out loud when my friends will share the things that they have done in the name of love. Every time I do that my friends especially my best friend will told me that, “time will come you will also experienced what we are experiencing right now”. Instead of stopping myself from laughing but in return I will laugh loudly and tell them that “that the least thing that will happen to me”.
But unexpectedly the least thing that I expected to happen with me now really happened. Unexpectedly without my permission I fell in in-love. Yes, I did I fell in-love to the guy which I know cannot love me back, cannot give me the same feelings that I am offering to him.
Yes, I know it will hurt me and not just an ordinary wound but the scar will always remain not just in my mind but also in my bleeding heart.
I know I cannot teach my heart thus, I really need to accept that right now I am falling in-love with the wrong person. I need to accept that indeed I am falling in-love with my friend.
I really did not expect this to happen but what can I do I just wake up one day thinking of him, dreaming of him and in-love with him.

Ewan?!?

2009-12-14T23:26:00.000-08:00

Akala ko ba ang pasko ay para sa pagbibigayan at pagmamahalan…

Ngunit ano itong nangyayari sa ating bayan…?!?

Imbes na pagmamahalan ay pagpapatayan…

Imbes na pagbibigayan ay pagsasarilinan…

Ano nga ba ang nangyayari sa atin? Sa ating bayan? Sa ating mga pinuno?

Paano pa ba natin mababago ang mga nangyayri sa ating bayan…

Imbes na sila ang mamuno sa bayan at gumawa ng kaayusan para sa bayan…

Sila pa itong nagiging pagulo at pa epal…

Imbes sila ang manita ng mga taong masasama…

Sila pa ngayon ang sinisita ng mga tao dahil sa mga masasama nilang Gawain…

Hai…tao nga naman…

Kung sino pa ang akala mong makakatulong sila pa itong mas tumutulong na madiin ng sobra-sobra an gating bansa…

Kung sino pa ang inaasahan sila pa ang magiging dahilan ng ating pagkaka dismaya…

2009-12-14T21:22:00.001-08:00

"I Love You, Goodbye"

Wish I could be the one
The one who could give you love
The kind of love you really need
Wish I could say to you
That I'll always stay with you
But baby that's not me
You need someone willing to give their heart and soul to you
Promise you forever, baby that's something I can't do
Oh I could say that I'll be all you need
But that would be a lie
I know I'd only hurt you
I know I'd only make you cry
I'm not the one you're needing
I love you, goodbye

I hope someday you can
Find some way to understand I'm only doing this for you
I don't really wanna go
But deep in my heart I know this is the kindest thing to do
You'll find someone who'll be the one that I could never be
Who'll give you something better
Than the love you'll find with me
Oh I could say that I'll be all you need
But that would be a crime
I know I'd only hurt you
I know I'd only make you cry
I'm not the one you're needing
I love you, goodbye

Leaving someone when you love someone
Is the hardest thing to do
When you love someone as much as I love you

Oh I don't wanna leave you
Baby it tears me up inside
But I'll never be the one you're needing
I love you, goodbye

Baby, its never ganna work out
I love you, goodbye

...hahai...walah rah...i can relate with this song...

...hahai...i love you goodbye jud...

Love Hurtz:[

2009-12-11T09:19:00.000-08:00

Love hurts when you wait for so long and all of a sudden like the wind, they’re gone…

Love hurts when you gave it a second chance, but it didn't work out
now all you can do is sit while your heart screams and shout…

Love hurts when you've prayed and prayed but still he went away..

Love hurts when you try to figure how something so good, and why the hell went wrong..

Love hurts when you had so many talks to work things out and
realizing that it did no good, now you wondering what was the relationship all about..

Love hurts when you've cried and cried morning, noon, and till night

Love hurts when you think you could have only given it a second chance and try with all of your might…

Love hurts when you finally gave up and dare to love again
because the one you truly love made you feel like your entire life has come to an end…

Love moves in mysterious way

2009-11-18T17:02:00.000-08:00

 It is a mystery why we fall in love. It is a mystery how it

happens. It is a mystery when it comes. It is a mystery why

some love grows and it is a mystery why some love fails.

You can analyze this mystery and look for reasons and causes,   but you will never do anymore that take the life out of

the experience.

Love is more than the sum of the interests and attractions
and commonalities that two people share. And just as life
itself is a gift that comes and goes in its own time, so too,
the coming of love must be taken as an unfathomable gift that
cannot be questioned in its ways.

Sometimes, hopefully at least once in your life - the gift of lovewill come to you in full flower. Take hold of it and celebrate it in all inexpressible beauty. This is the dream we all share. More often, it will come and take hold of you, celebrate you for a brief moment, then move on.

When this happen to young people, they too often try to

grasp the love and hold it to them, refusing to see that it is a

gift that just as freely, moves away. When they fall out of

love, or the person they love feels the spirit of love leaving,

they try desperately to reclaim the love that is lost rather

than accepting the gift for what it was, then moving on.

They want answers where there are no answers. They

want to know what is wrong in them that makes the other

person no longer love them, or try to get their love to change,

thinking that if some small things were different, love would bloom again.

They blame their circumstances and say that if they go far away and start a new life, their love will grow.

They try anything to give meaning to what has happened. But
there is no meaning beyond the love itself, and until they
accept its own mysterious ways, they live in a sea of misery.

Remember that you don't choose love. Love chooses you. All
you can really do is accept it for all its mystery when it
comes into your life. Feel the way it fills you to overflowing,
then reach out and give it away. Give it back to the person
who brought it alive in you. Give it to others who deem it
poor in spirit. Give it to the world around you in any way you can.

There is where many lovers go wrong. Having been so long
without love, they understand love only as a need. They see
their hearts as empty places that will be filled by love, and
they begin to look at love as something that flows to them
rather than from them.

The first blush of new love is filled to overflowing, but as
their love cools, they revert to seeing their love as a need.
They cease to be someone who generates love and instead
become someone who seeks love. They forget that the
secret of love is that it is a gift, and that it can be made to
grow only by giving it away.

Remember this and keep it to your heart. Love has its time, its
own season, its own reason for coming and going. You
cannot bribe it or coerce it, or reason it into staying. You can
only embrace it when it arrives and give it away when it
comes to you. But if it chooses to leave from your heart or
from the heart of your lover, there is nothing you can do and
there is nothing you should do. Love always has been and
always will be a mystery. BE GLAD THAT IT CAME TO LIVE
FOR A MOMENT IN YOUR LIFE.

If you keep you heart open, it will come again...

Nagpapaka:]

2009-11-13T10:13:00.000-08:00

para di na ako matuksong mukhang bata...

kaya eto sinusubukan kong mag paka dalaga...ehehe

kung noon parang uala lang sa akin kung anong isusuot ko..

ngayon nag bago nah..hihi:]

Bata man ako sa height pero at least di naman bata ang pag iisip ko:]

nag papaka dalaga lang po yung tao kaya walang paki alamanan..hihi:]

Though you always see me smiling but you just don't know how hard to pretend that you are happy even though your not:[

though I am badly hurt I can still manage to smile:[

Mind-Blowing

2009-11-13T10:01:00.000-08:00

Two words that best describe the Rock and Load Concert of SMART featuring Callalily and Spongecola: MIND-BLOWING!

I was at the gym of our school Negros Oriental State University (NORSU) with my friends where the two bands from Manila went live here in Dumaguete City. The experience is beyond any other entertainment event I’ve ever attended to. The band plus the audience had just too much energy that I felt my adrenaline-rush all over me for the entire 5 hour music concert.

The performance of the bands was really great. They know how to handle their audience very well and they know how to make their audience hyper active.

At first I just only want to see the callalily performing on the stage (because the vocalist (Kean Cipriano) of the band is my crush..eheh..awh:]) that is why when the host of the show started to introduce the band (callalily) I really can’t help my self but to scream at the top of my lungs and calling the name of my crush (Kean/vocalist).

Though I’ve seen him before (in there various concert) I still can’t help my self to join the crowd singing their songs and screaming.

When the Callalily sang their last song I thought I can now seat calmly on my chair however when the spongecola went out and will start playing their songs my friends keep on screaming (since they are a fan of the band) thus, I can’t help my self to join them screaming and singing.

I and the rest of the students really enjoyed the show especially when the two bands (callalily and spongecola) start performing.

Now I know how the bands and its music really influnces the students especially the youth… (ehehe). If you happened to miss this one, well churi nalang keu..ehehe

Callalily and Spongecola were really amazing!

A special world

2009-11-06T00:02:00.000-08:00

A special world for you and me

A special bond one cannot see

It wraps us up in its cocoon And holds us fiercely in its womb.

Its fingers spread like fine spun gold Gently nestling us to the fold

Like silken thread it holds us fast Bonds like this are meant to last.

And though at times a thread may break

A new one forms in its wake To bind us closer and keep us strong

In a special world, where we belong.

Alone but not lonely

2009-10-08T18:36:00.000-07:00

There are many people I know who just shudder at the thought of being alone. For them, it is similar to being abandoned, unloved, lonely and even rejected by the world at large. It is not exactly pretty to explain that ‘alone is not lonely’.

I love my solitude as much as the company of few good friends in my life. Some people freak out when I tell them that I frequently eat at a restaurant alone and often set out on a vacation alone, without needing or wanting anyone’s company. But I do not consider myself unlovable or rejected by the world when I am enjoying being alone.

And if you are like me, you would agree that even if we are alone and single, we can enjoy our solitary pursuits without feeling lonely, sad and waiting desperately to fling ourselves at Cupid’s feet in tearful gratitude at the first given chance. All this doesn’t mean that I never feel lonely. I do.

I have also discovered that there are as many ‘ups’ in going solo as there are the ‘downs,' and I have, more or less, become skilled at balancing them out. However, without intellectualizing, theorizing and analyzing singlehood too much because it is only when we are alone that we are able to regain our scattered energies, withdraw them from objects of anxieties and become centered enough to get in touch with our inner selves.

The more I look at external supports to pull us out of the misery of loneliness, the deeper I get into it. When I am surrounded by solitude, all my external support is abandoned, and I am alone and facing myself. I learned to trust my instincts, discover the profound silences of my heart. Being alone does not necessarily mean that we are lonely and without a companion, in fact, it means we have the ability to do it on our own.

Miss my Mommy Lola

2009-09-28T01:35:00.000-07:00

Miss the times that she will hug me when I came home...
Miss the times that she will treat me like a baby...
Miss the times that she will call me as the baby princess of the family...
Miss the times that she will ask me if there is someone’s courting me...
Miss all her advices...

Miss my Mommy Lola…

I thought it was just because of her heart problem but I was wrong, they lied to me...
They made me believe the wrong things...

It was September 19, 2009 when I decided to went home [in Tanjay to have my allowance to get some of my clothes.]

When I was already in tanjay I was shock when phone rang... [Tumawag ang mama kow]...

“ga, asa ka?! Pauli sa kay imo mommy lola nangita nimo,dali” [these were the words I remembered when I answered the call of my mom…] that is why I decided to go first to my grandparents house.

As I reached to my grandparent’s house my mom immediately hugs me and I asked her right away “Ma, asa si lolo?na unsa diay?” and my mom answered me with “naa sa iyahang room. Please ga ayaw rah kaguol kaayo kay kaw napod niya amo tabangun and wala diri imong tambal huh..”

Before I open the door of my Mommy Lola’s room I heard someone crying that is why I decided to peep first then I saw my Dad hugging my mommy lola while he was crying.

I really did not notice that a tear drops from my eyes and it was not my intention but my dad saw me and he immediately call me and hug me then he told me that my mommy lola was looking for me then he kiss me in my forehead and told me that “ayaw ra kaguol huh” then he went out.

“My, musta naman?” the only phrase came out to my mouth then my lola stared at me then to my surprise she hugged me and asked me “ga, musta imo eskwela”. My tear slowly fall [cause accordinhg to my mom my mommy lola do not want to talk and she cannot even remember the names of my tita].

I just answered her with “La paayo na! diba ni promise ka nako nga dili ko nimo byaan”.

She did not reply but instead a teardrops in her eyes and she told me that “pag binot an jud huh,imo pag ka maldita ayaw palabihi huh,naa ra btaw ko sige” and that is the timhe I hug her tight.

Since then I did not left my lola alone. I always hold her hand and I keep on telling her everything happened on my week.

It was 7:48 when I told her that I will go out first to have a my shower (before I went to bed) and as I reached the Bath Room I heard my tita screaming and keeps on calling the name of my mommy lola that is why I went out to the bath room and I rushed to the room of my mommy lola but in my dismayed my mom hug me while she was crying and told me “Wala na imo lola”.

I immediately hug my mommy lola and check her pulse rate and heart beat but my tita was right my lola already passed away.

I hugged my mommy lola tight while crying and I do not want her to leave that is why my dad and my mom decided to bring me home.

Though my mommy lola is not here but I know she will keep on watching me and she will guide my way.

I know it’s hard to accept that she’s not with us and will never come back but at least I know that she’s happy wherever she is right now.

kosa ba yo tiene?!

2009-09-14T11:39:00.000-07:00

kosa ba yo tiene?

ese el permi yo ta pyensa..

porke iyo ya lang permi sila ta mira?!

Kosa-kosa sila ta abla komigo...

kosa sila ta pensa hindi yo ta entende kosa sila ta abla?!

Se, ta entendi yo si kosa sila ta abla malo komigo..

porke iyo yalang permi?!

kosa ba yo ya anda ase kanila?!

hai, Bien sabe yo sila el ase kumigo bueno...

pero kosa sila ta ase ara?!

permi yah lang sila kumigo ta ase huya...

hindi porke ansena yo pwede ya sila ase ansena kumigo..

hente tamen yo tiene sentiemento..

Kosa ba tiene sila na nuay yo?!

porke dol basta-basta lang sila ta piensa kumigo...

kilaya se sila el taki na di me lugar?!

kosa kaha sila senti?!

kosa kaha sila piensa?!

Sus, kon pwede lang yo abla kanila todo se kosa yo ta senti pero malisod abla kanila...

pati gual lang syempre se abla yo hindi lang syempre sila kida otro...

se abla yo kanila dol nuay lang...

se, pede sila despensa pero dol minuto lang amo lang syempre...

...hahaii...

...kansaw yah yo...

...kosa ba yo ase?!

waiting for nothing

2009-09-04T01:46:00.001-07:00

I used to wake up early in the morning because of his text messages

He used to send me a morning greetings such as “Gud morning to my lovely angel., wake up nah., yaw adto skul without taking ur breakfast huh., muah …” etc…

But last Sunday, as I woke up I immediately reach for my cell phone to read his message but as I scroll my key pad I was dismayed [ndi dahil wala akong na received na message] when I found out that he did not text me at all…

I waited for his text for almost an hour but still he did not dare to text me or even just greet me good morning…

That is why I decided to text him with “gud morning” cause I was thinking that maybe
He was still sleeping…

I waited for his reply almost 2hours but what he replied is just a simple “Gud morning, wish me luck because I will take the PMA exam”…

He will take the exam without telling me…

I was disappointed on what he just replied to me but still I manage to text him with “uwkie,gud luck! ajA!... just text me if ur done”…

Time passed and it’s already 7pm but still I am waiting for his text…

10pm already passed but still he did not text me…

I know that very moment that he won’t text me anymore…

That is why I decided to sleep…

It was Monday morning when I hear my phone beep and guess what…

The good guy texted me… [awh,lami hapakon]

“Gud morning! Eat na, muah”

And that’s the time I decide not to text him back for I know he will just give me his alibis..

He texted me several times but still I did not text him back…

I want him to feel what the feeling I felt last time…

The feeling that you are waiting for nothing…

Sayang!?!

2009-08-25T02:42:00.000-07:00

Lalaking Killer…

Babaeng puno ng dugo…

Dark room…

Multong nag hahanap ng kanyang anak…

This was the things that my board mates saw when we entered at the Horror Chamber of SU…

How about me?!? What did I saw?!?

Wala! Wala akong nakita narinig ko lang lahat… [naka pikit kasi ako sa loob ng HC…eheh]

Sigaw dito, sigaw doon…

Yun lang ang nakaya kong gawin habang nasa loob ako ng HC [kasi di ko kayang Makita ang mga ghost…]

Sayang!

Sayang! Lang ang aking 10 pesos [pang load na san yun] dahil hindi naman ako nag enjoy…

Pero pano ba yan di ko na mababawi ang aking pera…

BrOken

2009-08-25T01:56:00.000-07:00

They keep on telling me that it only hurts me a little while…
That in no time my usual smile will be back…

I know what they say are all right but that wont stop me from crying each and every night…

My dreams within have ended…

I do not know how to mend my heart…

I do not know where to start…

He opened up a world of dreams but then he went and closes the door…

I never know that love could hurt me this much…

But someway, somehow I know I can make it through but for now can any one tell me how to mend this broken heart of mine…?!?

Can anybody tell me where I should start…?!? c:

one day millionaire

2009-08-13T01:24:00.000-07:00

Last August 10, 2009 I received my second honorarium [unlike the first H I received nah halos walah ng natira dahil sa utang nah dapat bayaran] that is why me and my friend Rina decided to have a shopping galore in downtown…

At first Rina is the only one who keeps on buying something for her self [dahil ayaw kong gastusin ang perang aking pinag hirapan…awh]…

But when Rina tell me to have my hair relax [I also like the idea of relaxing my hair] I immediately tell her “dali pa relax ta”,

That is why we rush to the “tiangge” [kapos kasi sa budget…hehe] to have our hair relax…

After almost 2 hours of staying in tiangge we decided to go to a certain store [hmp …won’t mention the name of that store…] to buy something our self.

After an hour of searching on what would I buy for my self…?
I decided to buy a pair of sandal and shoes?

After staying in downtown for almost half a day we decided to go home...

As I reached my boarding house, I instantly check my wallet to know how much money remained from my honorarium…but to my surprised I only have 150 pesos left in my wallet [hhuhu…]…

Oh my god! I really cannot imagine that I almost spend all my H in just one day…

I really acted a millionaire that day…

That is why I promised to my self that the next time I will received my honorarium [Kung may matatanggap pa ba akong H] I wont spend to much for something not so important for me…

...im bAck...

2009-07-01T12:12:00.000-07:00

. . . hmp . . .

. . .matAgaL- tAgal din aKong nAwaLa sAh pAgboBlog. . .

. . .kaya ngayon akOy nagbabalik. . .