Thursday, October 8, 2009

Alone but not lonely

There are many people I know who just shudder at the thought of being alone. For them, it is similar to being abandoned, unloved, lonely and even rejected by the world at large. It is not exactly pretty to explain that ‘alone is not lonely’.

I love my solitude as much as the company of few good friends in my life.
Some people freak out when I tell them that I frequently eat at a restaurant alone and often set out on a vacation alone, without needing or w
anting anyone’s company. But I do not consider myself unlovable or rejected by the world when I am enjoying being alone.

And if you are like me, you would agree that even if we are alone and single, we can enjoy our solitary pursuits without feeling lonely, sad and waiting desperately to fling ourselves at Cupid’s feet in tearful gratitude at the first given chance. All this doesn’t mean that I never feel lonely. I do.

I have also discovered that there are as many ‘ups’ in going solo as there are the ‘downs,' and I have, more or less, become skilled at balancing them out. However, without intellectualizing, theorizing and analyzing singlehood too much because it is only when we are alone that we are able to regain our scattered energies, withdraw them from objects of anxieties and become centered enough to get in touch with our inner selves.

The more I look at external supports to pull us out of the misery of loneliness, the deeper I get into it. When I am surrounded by solitude, all my external support is abandoned, and I am alone and facing myself. I learned to trust my instincts, discover the profound silences of my heart. Being alone does not necessarily mean that we are lonely and without a companion, in fact, it means we have the ability to do it on our own.